Number Two

30/9: Day Twelve

Saint Florent-Linguizzetta

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So today was one of the only days I had planned ahead for. My 4×4 adventure which was to include a boat ride, a hike, a swim and a 4×4 drive was not going to happen. It’s fair to say I was a little peeved at not being told they don’t operate Saturdays when I first enquired, but what can you do? I made a coffee, heated some leftover pizza and sat to ponder my options.

Bloody decisions!!!! I hate them! I figure I can move on to the Calvi area and try to do the hike I was planning for the next day, or I could explore the Asco area, which I had only just read about 5 minutes earlier. Flip a coin? Or I could stay here and wander down to the marina and try to score myself a boat trip? I don’t have a 3-sided coin, bugger! Or….I could head straight across to the East coast and start making my way South? Aaahhhhh!!!! Too many choices.

Ding! A message comes through on my phone. 22811425_10156775230364502_1745337647_n

Ken: What are your plans for today?

Me: I can’t decide……perfect timing! You decide-1,2,3 or 4? Pick a number.

Ken: 2

Me: Well in that case-I’m going to Asco!

Because Asco has not countered into my plans at all before today, I know very little about it. I was hoping today would change that.

With a plan (of sorts) in mind, I was now keen to get on the road!

There were a few little moments along the way, like encountering a fork in the road and being unsure which way to go, but unlike on previous occasions where I would flip a coin to decide, I followed GPS instructions because I had reception! All in all I found my way to the main road N197 and was pleasantly surprised!! It was a real road! Like one that could comfortably fit 2 cars side by side, with lines marked that made sense. I was beside myself! I quickly fell into the pace set by other motorists and even overtook my first vehicle- shoulda done the mountains first buddy then this would be a breeze!!

I easily find the turn off to Asco and make my way along the picturesque country road.

Corsica is covered with old buildings, some intact, some not. I can see why this place would be a photographer’s delight. The colours are constantly changing as the sun moves position and you are spoilt with views of mountains, villages, green countryside and much much more.

Absorbed in the beauty surrounding me, it takes a while to realise, as I gain altitude the road becomes narrower and narrower.

My nerves start to rattle again and I am quietly cursing Ken for choosing number two! The only comfort is that this time I am on the mountain side of the road. A lot less daunting, but scary nonetheless. My relief is short lived once I realise I will be on the other side coming down. My legs feel like jelly at the thought and the further up the mountain I go, the less sure I am that I want to keep going. I am instantly reminded of the previous day’s experience and feel sick. Tears, once again, prick my eyes, threatening to flow. After I pass through (and get lost in) the tiny village of ASCO, I come across an information Bay. I pull in, turn the car off and get out to stretch my legs and try to contain my anxiety. I look around and while there is no denying it’s beauty, I am in two minds as to whether or not it was worth the stress. To continue or not? Flip a coin? A car pulls in to the parking area and breaks my line of thought. A couple get out and I smile.

They move to take in the views and are standing beside me. Worth a shot…“Parlay Vous Anglais?”

“Oui,” they say, “a little.”

 

I can hardly contain my excitement. Words start flying out of my mouth at a rate that even made my head spin! One would think I hadn’t seen or spoken to a living soul in over a year! I told them how much I had shit myself on the drive to this point and how I was deliberating on the benefits of putting myself through even more anxiety by driving to the peak. We chatted (well, mostly me to be honest) for quite some time. I think I managed to spill out my whole life story in 30 minutes without taking a breath! They knew what it was that brought me to Corsica, and that my original dream was to hike the GR20…….they knew also of my inevitable acceptance that I was not nearly fit enough for this challenge- yet.  None of us were achieving anything by standing on the side of this mountain gas bagging and it soon became apparent someone would have to make the first move. I was so reluctant to let them go!

“Would you like to travel with us to the top?” Oh my God!!!! I swear those are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard!!! I am tossing up whether to laugh or cry. Instead I almost scream my response at them….”YES!!!” …… and quickly check my car is locked and am by their side in no time!

Brigitte was an absolute angel and offered me the front passenger seat (YEP-even she knew better than to offer the Drivers Seat!!) The difference between being a driver and being a passenger is unfathomable. Without fear of certain death, I could look around as we climbed higher up the mountain, and enjoy the breathtaking scenery……really enjoy it. The scary parts of the drive, like the narrow bridge we encountered, didn’t seem scary at all when it was someone else tackling them. I took heaps of photos. At one point Brigitte, the cheeky bitch, asked Josef if I might actually be Japanese? This sealed it! I officially LOVED them!! So easy to talk to, kind, fluent AND a great sense of humour!! I felt like the Universe was shining down on me when I met these two gems!!!!!!

The view from the Asco Ski Resort was sensational. For an Aussie who is used to admiring our Pilbara Red Carpet, the greenery of the trees and valleys below was phenomenal. I felt like I had a permanent, ridiculous looking grin spread across my face. When Jo and Brigitte told me we were at a GR20 refuge and the trail was not far from where we stood, I was ecstatic!! Like the born cheat than I am, I borrowed Jo’s back pack and posed for a couple of tourist pics so I could claim I walked the GR20! Technically, this is actually true! I DID walk on the trail of the GR20, which was on my bucket list, so I gave that a HUGE tick and paid no heed to the fact that I only walked 20metres of it! Minor detail!!

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Me and my GR20 hiking buddies!

I chatted with some young lads who informed me the GR20 was bloody tough! They looked mighty fit, so upon hearing this, I felt a little relieved at not tackling it. Of course I posed for photos to give credibility to my earlier claims! They were quite accommodating and even let me hold their poles!!  ………………………… You know what I mean!!

 

We topped our trek off with cold drinks at the Asco Bar (NON ALCOHOLIC!! I was well aware I still had a massive driving task ahead of me). I knew I would soon have to face reality. My car was still half way down this mountain and I knew I had to get it to the bottom.

On our drive back to my car, however, we stopped a couple of times to admire the views, stroll along a picturesque river bed and even applaud Josef’s wonderful skimming abilities!

I followed Jo and Brigitte after picking up my car, and with Jo leading the way and giving me warning of oncoming traffic, the drive was less daunting. I got to laugh at the wildlife who thought they owned the road, relax a little and enjoy the driving challenge I was lucky enough to be able to experience. We stopped and did the ‘tourist thing’ a couple more times before reaching the bottom.

At the base of the mountain Jo and Brigitte carried on with their planned itinerary. I, stupidly, had decided to investigate a place I had seen on the tourist map at the location where I first met Jo and Brigitte. “Serra Debbione.” I think just because it had the word Deb in it and sounded a bit like ‘Debbie is the one’………. well in my head anyway! I was hoping maybe this would be where I found my own sign and could finally let go of the disappointment of not capturing the “A.Sellula” sign in Nonza. Whatever the reason, I parted with Jo and Brigitte and went on my own expedition. Pfft!! To say I wasted my time would be an understatement. Still not 100% sure why Serra Debbione is even marked on maps. Is it a rubbish tip? Maybe I should have translated it first? I drove aimlessly around in the area where Google Maps was showing me to be, but could find nothing of significance. I decided to give up and carry on driving in the general direction of the East coast. Number 4, on my list that morning, had been to drive to the East coast and make my way South making the most of the beaches along the way. I deserved to lounge around I reckon! This driving had pushed me way beyond my comfort zone and I was looking forward to a little indulgence. The open highways were a breeze to drive and I nailed that right hand driving like a pro!! Quite happy with myself and internally high-fiving myself, I drove in to Corte. I had originally planned to spend a night here, but continuing with my current lack of procedure, I decided to keep winging it and forget previous plans.

Now, when I say I nailed the driving part, you will notice I said that after I mentioned ‘open roads’ were a breeze. I was pretty confident at roundabouts, general traffic conditions, reading road signs….BUT, every now and then I would come across an intersection which made me just think…”What the F*#@??” In these circumstances, to avoid causing accidents, I simply followed the car in front of me and pulled off the road as soon as safe and practicable to do so. I would then re-evaluate the situation and try to get myself back on track. It is at these times (and there were MANY of them), that I became lost. The fun would then start when, as I was trying to get myself back on track, the same thing would happen again. On the plus side of these diversions, I encountered many things I would not have otherwise come across. It is with this outlook that I was able to laugh at myself and keep trying.


Out of Corte and heading East! It is now late in the afternoon and as confident as I sounded two paragraphs ago, I was not ready for driving at night! I would have liked to find a cheap backpackers for the night but was now thinking, the first thing I find on the beach will do. I was heading North from Aleria, so figured any turn right would take me to the ocean, so I would take the very next turn as it was getting quite late and the sun was starting to set. As luck would have it, the next turn sported a massive billboard flaunting a beachside resort. Probably a bit flash for this Aussie Shiela, certainly didn’t look like a backpackers, but I figured it was near the ocean so I was on a winner. Get to the resort and drive along until I found something affordable….and quick! I was very conscious of the sun lowering behind me.

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The end of this drive revealed the resort and the resort alone. There were no ‘cheaper’ options, this was a private road. “Shit!” I sat in the car contemplating my next move, then figured, stuff it, go in and see how much I’m looking at. Maybe the following couple of nights can be at backpackers to make up for the splurge on this place.

“Parlay Vous Anglais?”I asked the young receptionist.

“Oui.” Not sure, but I think my sigh of relief may have come out louder than anticipated.

“Do you have any vacancies for tonight, and what is your cheapest room?” I knew I sounded like a penny pincher but I didn’t care……truth was, I probably would take any room at any price, just to avoid nighttime driving!

The young girl showed me the list of accommodation options and I was pleasantly surprised. Wow! These prices were actually pretty good! They ranged from budget priced bungalows to resort priced villas. I was ecstatic!!! “I’ll take one!”

We exchanged pleasantries…..where are you from? How long are you in Corsica for? Do you know where you are? (um, pretty sure I just drove myself here, so Yes!) and details for my booking. I felt a sense of relief that everything had fallen into place today, despite the hurdles along the way.

The girl handed me back my credit card and as I prepared to leave she mentioned, “We have a few rules,” I spun around.

“Sure.”

“You must wear clothes in the dining room.” Now, I don’t know about other places, but here in Australia….this is a given!!!!!!! I picked my bottom jaw off the ground and then, controlling an urge to smile at this somewhat bizarre rule, I nodded. She continued, “Clothing around the camp is optional…”

“Oh thats ok….I’ll be fully clothed!!” I interrupted.

“……but on the beach clothes are not allowed.”

Thump! Yep, that was my jaw back where it started. Say what??????!!!!!! With a voice that barely sounded like my own, I squeaked, ” like a clothing optional beach?”

“No,” she corrected, “No clothes.”

“Sooooo……topless?”

“No,” I can see the exasperation in her eyes now, “NO CLOTHES!”

“Ha,” then after a few seconds, “ha.” Not so much words, as pent up air releasing itself forcefully between my lips. I clearly looked gobsmacked! I now understood her earlier question, ‘Do you know where you are?’  In hindsight, smartarse, the correct answer would have been ‘No.’ Serves me right for being so smug!!!!!

“It’s really quite easy,” she encouraged.

I looked at her small frame and well toned young body, and thought, “If I looked like that I’d find it easy too!” I looked slowly down at myself and thought, “…..but I don’t. I look like this.” My heart felt heavier than it had only moments ago, but I shrugged off the negative thoughts and feelings and thanked her for her help.

When I got out to the carpark, I laughed out loud. It was actually bloody hilarious!!! I don’t act like a prude and prudish doesn’t really describe me, but baring my bits for all to see???? Hell no!!!! I was determined to challenge myself on this journey and I had done so thus far. Could this challenge prove too much??? I felt I would more than likely concede defeat on this one. My self-esteem is at rock bottom. As a person I am happy with who I am…….physically though? I can’t go into a store changeroom without crying. I avoid looking in mirrors and I keep my eyes averted when I enter a shop so I don’t inadvertently catch a glimpse of my refection. It would be fair to say…I hate my appearance-with a passion!! My outwardly fun loving persona hides a scared little girl. The bubbly, bright, comical me, is a facade for the unhappy me that is trapped in a body I despise. I know some of you may think….”If you don’t like it, do something about it.” Unfortunately, that prospect opens a whole new can of worms for me……..and since this blog is about my Corsica Journey and me facing my fears…..I’ll leave that topic alone for now.

So, key in one hand, backpack in the other, I let myself in to my bungalow by the sea. It is quite literally on the beach! The only things between me and the ocean, are the beach umbrella’s! My bungalow is great! It has everything I need and I take a moment to listen to the sound of the waves rolling in. I smile. Life is good. As much as I love the ocean, I’m sure I can manage to stay off the beach until I get further along the coast where I can wear my clothes. The sound, the smell and the sight of the ocean is enough. After parking my car I head to my bungalow to shower and ‘dress’ for dinner (I’ll never take that for granted again!!!)

A gentleman nods as he passes, “Bonjour Madame.”

“Bonjour,” I reply and nod in response. As I do so, I get my first flash and hence, initiation to my new surrounds……..mentally, I add, “and bonjour to you too!” The tune of ‘Singing In The Rain’ springs to mind, with a couple of changes.

I am still singing, “Swinging In The Breeze,” as I enter the dining room. I mentally scold myself for the mammoth smile still spread across my face.

“Parlay Vous Anglais?” I ask the two barmen. The younger of the two nods and the older gentleman, probably around my age, shakes his head.

The young man recognises my accent and leads me to a table, “You’re an Aussie! This way mate!” in his best Aussie accent. I love it! There I am, smiling again!!

The service was great, the music was loud enough to enjoy but low enough that you could still hear the faint murmuring of the families and couples gathered at the tables enjoying the evening. It was a balmy night and the cocktails went down a treat. I chose a table outside so I could watch the waves crash onto the shore while I relaxed. I was not disappointed. I doubt you could hold on to stress in this environment if you tried. The tension of the past couple of days flowed from me and I was overcome with a sense of serenity. My smile now, was gentle. I felt calm and at peace. I breathed in the salty damp air, I smelt the ocean breeze, I listened to the lapping water and the chatter and laughter of those around me, and I was thankful. So many others, for one reason or another, are denied the freedom or the ability to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, and here I was surrounded by them.  Again, I reflected. Another big day. One that started with uncertainty and, it would seem, ended with uncertainty as well. Another day of learning. Another day of accepting challenges and accomplishing dreams.

Back at my bungalow, I opened the window to allow the breeze to sweep over me as I slept. The symphony of sounds through the night changed from a gentle ocean sound, to the clapping of thunder. Lightning lit up my room. The thunderstorm brought with it, it’s own ability to soothe. I lay awake for a while watching mother nature play over the ocean and was mesmerised. I love the ocean. Staying away from it in the morning would prove to be another challenge for sure!!!

Love you all

40-leven

Deb

kiss

 

Loo Paper Anyone???

29/9: Day Eleven

Bastia to St Florent via Cap Corse

I hardly slept….I was so keen to pick up my little car and hit the road! I specifically asked for a ‘petite’ automatic…..figured changing which side of the road I drive on was challenge enough, and I’ve read that some roads over here are notoriously narrow-best to play it safe.

“At this point I would like to point out that 100’s of my photo’s were accidentally deleted!!! A lot of my journey will, therefore, not be supported by any of the billions of images I captured!”

First things first though….breakfast overlooking the water. I ordered crepes with my coffee but the waiter informed me they only had croissants….he had already started my coffee so I settled for croissants and took a seat- the view was splendid. I was a little disappointed when my croissant arrived dry, with no spreads or anything to make him special. It was a minor detail, however, and could not dampen my spirits. I drank my coffee and headed toward Avis to collect my little beast….I was expecting a little Mr Bean special! When I spoke to the lady at Avis after providing all my necessary paperwork, I thought I’d double check, “It is automatic isn’t it?”

“No. Manual”

F*#k!!! I asked if there were any auto’s available and she kindly checked and informed me there weren’t. I told her I would ask around first because I had definitely stipulated that I wanted a small auto.

The other car rental places proved fruitless so I wandered back to Avis.

Tail between my legs back to Avis and the lady there has pulled some strings! An auto has been made available! It has not yet been cleaned but I assure her that is completely fine. I embrace her-maybe a little too emphatically because she is initially a little taken aback! Keys in hand I jump in and start with what was to be my silent chant every time I started the car…..”right hand side, right hand side, right hand side.”

I head back to my hotel, check out, grab my bags and head North. Let’s get this party started!!!!

I have no idea what today has in store except I want to complete the trek to find my “A Sellula” sign and finish up in Saint Florent for the night. My accommodation is booked for tonight as I planned a 4×4 tour which was to include a boat ride, hike and 4×4 trip. I had been really looking forward to it. It has only been in the last few days that this excursion has had to be canned….not happy but not dwelling on it…..just have to come up with a plan B.

It is while I’m driving that I start to consider the pro’s and con’s of choices made during the planning process. The open roads are not too bad, the smaller towns however, have narrow roads and are fraught with potential hazards. I drive through them literally holding my breath waiting for someone to come around a bend and swipe me. Each town is a relief to pass through unscathed and it is then I realise I am missing the beauty of the island I came to see. To drive or not to drive? Pros and cons. Auto or smaller car? Pros and cons. Travelling solo? Pros and cons. This whole trip will be fraught with learning curves I’m sure. Just need to make sure I enjoy the journey and don’t focus on the lessons. The list in my head was endless so I stopped analysing and gave everything up to the Universe.

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When you pull up and someone is balancing on a rock, in a yoga position, overlooking The Mediterranean Sea, you really step back and take it all in. When that same person pulls out a violin and starts gently playing sounds that replicate those of the small birds nearby? Incredible.

 

After this, I stopped at each opportunity to admire the scenery. This place really is pretty. Even in the areas that had recently been ravaged by fire, there was a proud beauty. The sweeping landscape, though charred, still had the ability to hold it’s audience captive. I got out when I came across the distinctive separation between burnt remnants and the colours that held a promise of what was to come.

 

I had read up a lot about driving in Corsica so knew there would be moments that would take me out of my comfort zone. I wasn’t, however prepared to be driving with my heart pounding in my throat.

Time spent this morning sorting out the car meant I was way behind schedule to do what I had originally planned. I decided to cut across Cap Corse rather than follow the road all the way around the top. I was conscious of the need to allow time near Nonza to hike and find my sign.

My first of many wrong turns, came quite early on my detour. There were parts of the road that were barely wide enough for one vehicle let alone two! Regardless of this minor detail, as some kind of warped local humour they have painted lines down the centre of the road to indicate that it was two way traffic!!!!! The locals might have found this funny, but I was not laughing!

At one point I got out and stepped it out…..luckily the part of the road I measured was roughly 3m, a little wider than some parts I had already encountered. It is in this part of the road I met another vehicle-clearly also a tourist because they looked as keen to pass by me as I did them. The benefit they held over me was that the sheer drop down the side of the mountain was on my side! Every now and then the edge of the road widened a little. It quickly became apparent that it is at these points you attempt to pass each other!

My phone had no reception, the GPS in the car was really not of much help and THIS is when I remember I was supposed to buy a roadmap in Bastia. I managed to find myself in some situations that required a 25point turn in order to avoid sliding down the mountain. Wrong turns in this neck of the woods are a nightmare! If I said driving these narrow inland roads made me shit myself, it would be an understatement! My head pounded so heavily I expected to burst a blood vessel. The aircon was on high yet I sweated profusely. I felt physically ill and was constantly on the verge of tears. I knew there was no turning back so I prayed at each bend that the road would widen. Ok, so maybe the next bend? The next? Nope? It has to widen soon surely? I clung to this hope like a lifeline-elusive dreams that kept me forging forward and fighting tears. As a Traffic Controller with experience in road safety and construction, I was a little taken aback, to say the least, when I came across a piece of road that had seemingly ‘fallen’ down the side of the mountain. It’s all good though….there were barriers put in place to protect motorists and notify them of the hazard…….a couple of rocks, strategically placed at the edge of the damaged , or missing, road. Surprisingly I laughed this off, but what I thought may have been my undoing, was coming across a makeshift bridge (where the road had obviously collapsed). The bridge was constructed of steel (scaffolding came to mind) and wooden planks. There are signs at each side written in French with some simple pictures. I am presuming, given the couple of French words I do know and the fact I use pictorial language at work, that this bridge will accommodate only one vehicle at a time! There is a valley below-I don’t even want to guess how many 100’s of metres the drop is. If I thought my heart was racing before, it is now in overdrive! I slowly drive across the bridge and try not to pay attention to the sounds of the planks rattling below me……I’m sure this structure has passed stringent construction and OHS requirements! Once again, I pray. This trip really has been a tale of Eating, Loving and Praying.

Of ALL the photo’s I lost…..a photo of this bridge is one of the ones I miss the most…….It’s one of those ‘Gotta see it to believe it’ kinda moments!

With the small villages dotted along the way, comes a modicum of respite. A chance to slow the heart. The locals are so laid back I often wondered if they were awake. Roadworks being carried out in small towns meant their equipment (usually a wheelbarrow), would need to be parked on the road. An Aussie tourist interrupting their routine was certainly not a priority. I waited on numerous occasions for locals to move either themselves or their tools so I may continue my journey. They were not rude or INDIGNANT, just unperturbed and in no way aware of the sense of urgency that came with the passerby’s. You quickly find yourself smiling and accepting this for what it is. Their way of life simple and it would appear, stress free. It puts a lot of things in perspective when you see people just plodding about their business, not allowing minor inconveniences to become more than what they are…. a minuscule bump in the scheme of life. They could care less that I had a vision of photographing my sign to complete a loop in my head, they could care less that I wasn’t 100% sure of where I was or what lay ahead. They had a job to do-fill the hole in the road….today, or tomorrow, or even next week-it mattered not. So, with a smile and a wave, they would move themselves and their stuff and swig at the contents of whatever drink was contained within the brown paper bag, as they allowed me to pass. It’s impossible not to smile back and offer a “Merci” as you pass by, hoping you didn’t have to perform another 25point turn and pass back through. At some points in the mountains, consideration had been given to tourists and an area was cleared so you could pull off to the side of the ‘road’. I made the most of these and took many photos…..as well as use it as an opportunity to calm my nerves and breathe. The views are incredible. From a height you can see tiny villages scattered along the mountainside as well as the winding road that snaked its way through them. Something to look forward to!

The sun is by now on a downhill slide and considering I am not 100% sure about where my sign is, I am thinking this box may remain unticked. Thanks to Jon Ingall, an amazing photographer and the man who snapped the shot that inspired me to draw, I had a rough idea about where the sign was. The GPS route he sent to me, however, would not open and although I had studied the photos long and hard, I knew there was a chance I could get lost without a GPS or any real idea about what I was doing. Nobody knew where I was or what my plans were (myself included!), so reluctantly I decided against trying to find “A Sellula”. I would either have to try again another trip or paint something else and give myself a whole new mission. Like the roadworkers I had encountered throughout my day…Ke Sera, Sera.

I continued on to Saint Florent and found my hotel relatively easily. I booked in and decided to walk the short distance to town. I wandered around amongst the bustle of people and admired the beautiful simplicity. Everyone caught up in their own little world of eating, laughing and drinking. The weather was beautiful, as was the backdrop. I finally settled at a table and ordered a snack and wine. I joined others to watch locals playing bocce, a regular occurrence it would seem.

Before heading back to the hotel I took a stroll out along the Marina, where there were an abundance of yachts moored. A local pizza in hand, I made my way back up the hill toward the hotel. I ate my pizza, with a beer to wash it down, whilst watching the sunset, overlooking the pool and the town below.

Still no idea what I would do tomorrow, given my plans had been shelved, I made my way up to bed.

Even a visit to the loo brings new queries. I thought I’d read up enough about French customs/routines to get me by, but now I was confused. Do they use toilet paper over here? I searched around again. Definitely none here and no toilet paper holder either. Maybe a bidet of sorts? No sign of anything that you could wash with. There are hand towels on the bathroom bench beside me……surely not!!! I do the drip dry and decide to ask someone at some point. I start to worry then, that I may need to do a number 2 during the night and be faced with the same dilemma. I really do need an answer beforehand. Today of all days…..when I have spent 90% of the day shitting myself, I NEED loo paper to see me through the night!

Worried I might appear critical of their customs I pose the question in my head several times before I approach the receptionist and have a go out loud.

“Um….do you use toilet paper?”

“Pardon?!”yep, not how I planned it in my head. She looks both indignant and confused so I try to explain.

“It’s ok if you don’t, that’s fine, I’m unaware of the way things work over here, I’ve never really travelled much…..” Every time my mouth opened, more shit would roll out and the crease of the lady’s frown deepened. Could do with that paper right now!!!!

“There’s no toilet paper in my room and I’m not sure what to use,”

Finally, a light bulb behind her eyes and a smile….”Oh, sorry. Yes, we definitely use toilet paper but my colleague obviously forget to replace yours. I’ll get you some.”

Awkward much?

Another day filled with challenges. I was stuffed.

Here’s to tomorrow …..

….love you 40-leven!

Deb

kiss

Ang-zi-etty

Anxiety ……You tell yourself you’re ok. You nervously talk about your angst and outwardly face your demons……are you ok? How much talking do you think until you erase those ‘things’? Those little things that are no longer a threat, yet, are? Can they be counselled away? And if they are, how long before they’re replaced?
That seed in your gut that seems to grow roots deeper than you could imagine and spreads vine-like through your veins…..

The tiny voice in your head that contradicts the words flowing across your tongue and spilling into the ears of anyone prepared to listen….

That wild brumby in your chest thrashing around determined not to be tamed……

The tiny beads of moisture seeping from beneath your flesh threatening to pool on your skin….

Your breath…shallow and fast….I am breathing? Right? Anxiety….

If you allow it……it will strip your confidence and bring you trembling to your knees……. Christian Grey style-50 Shades of Shattered Nerves!

Find the strength to heal!!!

One of my spiritual journeys….Bali, 2016

 

Shelly Towns-Energetic Freedom “Live, Laugh & Love“! Highly recommend this lady! She’s amazing!!!

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